The Reason I Dance

A poem by Seikalligraphy: how Seika found the connections among his body, mind and soul through dance; reflecting on his childhood with a single mom, society and material expectations.

I always loved to dance, 

but I couldn’t figure out why 

5-year-old Seika liked to wiggle

He liked to flap his wings and giggle

It made him feel like a bird 

He felt free flying around the sky 

He felt joyous to be able to go that high 

8-year-old Seika had to learn to survive

He didn’t know how to, but he would get it

His community wanted him to thrive

His society praised his dad for his life 

He felt conflicted because he saw his mother fight 

A woman who is sensitive inside 

but had to flight so he can thrive

Slowly he lost his wings to fly

By 18, he was finding his way to the sky, 

while losing a sense of security in society

He had a sense of guilt, 

but at the same time, responsibility 

Responsibility to hide his shame,

and turn that into drive for the family 

His fire was his compassion, 

but he didn’t know he was in grief 

He told himself a lot of lies 

And… he realized he started focusing on his mind

It was his response of fight or flight

In society which was created by men’s mind

He had to learn his way to their sky 

From 20 to 24, Seika thought he got it

Because he was raised by mind 

He came into society with freshness and awkwardness 

He thought he could conquer their sky

He needed to be respected with ambition and attractiveness

He learned that he needed his feathers

Rebelliously his mind chased for them

Physical charm and material worth 

He learned to put on feathers, and it somewhat set him free

But his wings are still trapped in his body without being seen

Age of 25, he was still walking 

He learned his way of flying 

He gathered his feathers 

But he was still not that Seika that could fly

He had to find his wings to revive... 

27-year-old Seika became magical

Because now he found dance 

When he is dancing, he gets high 

From the core of his heart, 

his wings extend beyond his height 

With the map in his brain, 

he knows how to soar up to the light 

With the feathers on his skin, 

he knows how to glide 

One flap, one flutter, he darts through the rain to see the warmth of the shining light

One spin, one twirl, he glides above the clouds through the soothing night

Over earth, over water, over mountains, and in the sky 

“I” am feeling free… for the first time in a long time

Today, he found that Seika, 

a 5-year old Seika that could fly 

It was me…

With no surviving but here to thrive

With joyful compassion and heartfelt pride

With all the truth, both darkness and light 

Beyond space and beyond time 

He was me and I was him the whole time

I have found my wings, 

I have found my soul 

That is why I dance, and that’s how I fly

To find connections, 

to feel as a whole

And to be free in this magical world